i think i have two assholes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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