i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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