help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's blow job season.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
