I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
