Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
