You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
