so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
