I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
