I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
