I think scott just propositioned me for sex
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
