No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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