When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's shark week go big or go home
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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