she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
