Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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