Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
