You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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