I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
