It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
