Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
