life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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