He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
