if you like me you must not know who I am
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
