Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
