remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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