i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I understand Curling. That high.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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