life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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