the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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