I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
