Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
