Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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