dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
