Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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