just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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