Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
