im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
