The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Let's get the cat blown out
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
