I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
