Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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