she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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