i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
apparently the secret to your success is patron
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
