first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
