Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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