she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
