I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
