omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
