Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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