No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
