What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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