Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
