I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
